I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
