called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
