Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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