1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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