So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
