it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Enjoy the penises
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
