Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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