last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Be still, my beating vagina.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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