Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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