what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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