Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize