I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
