oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
