he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
