I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Randomize