She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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