They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
