Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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