Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
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I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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