We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We need to get me chipped asap
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize