How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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