After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
