I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We don't watch enough power rangers
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
