The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
