Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize