So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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