Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
cat food counts as protein by the way
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
