why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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