But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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