So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
