I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize