I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
