My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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