Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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