I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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