Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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