how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize