This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
