Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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