i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize