moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
