did you get engaged???
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We left the knife in your bed.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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