ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
