Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
