The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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