i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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