Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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