I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
