I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
