No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
