hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
