i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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