In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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