I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
it's like iHOP with fire
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He did a backflip because drugs
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
