my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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