Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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