Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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