i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
