so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
