Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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