In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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