I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize